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Alejandra Vidal: Writer

The following poem may not be grammatically correct, but it makes a point and you should be grateful for that.

A POEM TO THE GIRLS POSTING BOOTY PICS ON MY INSTAGRAM FEED.

Girl, girl… Oh, grrrl.

I’m a self-proclaimed feminist, but damm!

Teach me your ways.

Teach me how to show that,

teach me how to get what I want.

Teach me, girl. I need it so bad.

I’ve been trying to get a sugar daddy to pay all my bills

like the ones in your pictures. Girl, you really got skills!!

I visited hospitals, retirement homes...

Sometimes, when I feel desperate,

I go to graveyards, but only find bones.

I haven't succeeded

My IG profile lacks butts, tans,

or captions where grammar is not needed.

My ex-boyfriend is healthy and doesn’t own a boat

And I haven’t lost a pound even though I only eat oats.

I know I should hate you.

That's what everyone thinks,

for posting your body so openly in my feed

But sometimes I think I’m not smarter than you.

You may be a genius who got it better than me

Maybe someday I’ll find my sugar papi

Meanwhile, keep doing you, keep showing off.

Don’t let the haters make you hide that moneymaker glorious butt.

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Tell me a little bit about yourself (Introduce yourself).

I’m Alejandra and how my name clearly shows it, I’m more Hispanic than a Fabuloso bottle. I have strong opinions about things that people don’t like to talk about. I’m a feminist but I have something against traditional feminism. I strongly suggest having one more wave of feminism where reggaeton is king. I believe in astrology. I read my horoscope every day and forget it 2 minutes later. I don’t really understand what it says, but it gives me a sense of being part of something bigger than myself. It helps me kill the egocentrical asshole that lives inside me. I’m very quiet but that’s just because I tend to be inappropriate, but when I get comfortable I talk and joke. A. LOT.

I’m a copywriter that gets excited for good ideas, like a kid in a candy store... and I’m in love with Tarantino. Not because he’s the greatest director the world has ever seen, but because he breaks all the rules, makes fun of the viewers and the industry in their faces, and does it all with high quality. Can you imagine being that good and that douchey? #goals

How did you get into writing and why did you choose it as a career?

I had no option.

I knew I was going to end up here since I was a kid, I just didn’t know how. For a while, I tried to escape it. I went to design school but then I would write more than I designed so... you can’t be so stubborn in life! It’s funny because I was named after the Library of Alexandría so I like to think letters were the plan all along.

For me, It’s a necessity more than a hobby. I didn’t actually choose it, it haunted me. That’s different.

What is it you love most about it?

Writing is therapeutical. It helps me release all of the creativity and anxiousness I get from time to time.

I’ve never been able to keep a diary because talking from my perspective all the time is boring, so I’m happier when I’m writing from other people’s perspectives. It’s the main reason why I enjoy my job. Plus, the excitement of writing something beautiful is unbelievable too.

Does being Hispanic influence your writing at all? If so, how?

Yeah, it does. It influences everything I do.

It influences how I choose my words. It influences my humor.

I’m a little more sarcastic because I’m Hispanic. I’m a little more messy and spontaneous because I’m Hispanic. I’m a little more dramatic because I’m Hispanic and I’m an over-sharer because… you guessed it…I’m Hispanic.

I think that growing up in a culture where Gabriel Garcia Marquez was the ultimate writer and a telenovela was food for the soul, shapes you.

Who/what has inspired you the most in what you do?

I like to be funny when I write. It’s not a must but it gives me satisfaction and pride. So, two of the people who inspire me the most are Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Being two of the funniest women in an industry shaped by men with jokes that scream “smartness” is just amazing. Besides, I get excited when the craft is done well and these two ladies… well, do I really have to say it? Just watch their monologues or their shows.

I remind myself of their existence everyday because the frustration of not being as good as they are keeps me going. I know it’s weird but I don’t see it as a bad thing. If the frustration’s gone, the excitement and the hunger to grow will be gone too.

What’s your process like? (Take me through your writing process)

A blank page always gives me a headache. It’s like a sucker punch to my self-esteem. Just thinking if this is going to be good or not, it pains me. But then, I let it all go and start writing the silliest things I could think of. Everything needs to come out. After that, I put the judging hat on and start erasing and changing things.

Sometimes I correct the thing that was already perfect and make it imperfect and ruin everything and overthink it. Sometimes I make it better. But that’s the job. It’s just doing it until you learn to choose better.

Favorite quote.

“Che en la plaza, Pinochet en la casa”

As Cheguevara, the famous Latin American revolutionary and Pinochet, the famous Latin American dictator.

It’s more of a saying than a quote. I like it because it reminds me that we need to be the example we want in the world. We can’t say something and then do the opposite when nobody is watching. Words without action are not a thing my life.

Any words of wisdom for young writers?

A couple…

#1 Just do it (not sponsored)

Stop doubting yourself and start taking control of the letters. If whatever you are doing doesn’t go right, you can erase everything and start again. Yes, it’s going to be hard. Yes, you are going to be frustrated. But it’s part of every process, not only the writing process. So, don’t make a big deal out of it. News flash: you ain’t the only human struggling with it... just keep going.

#2 Get yourself somebody good to learn from

Personally, I love red pen scribbles over my writing when they’re made by people I look up to. I think people tend to be afraid of others judging their work without realizing they’re growing pains. So, choose somebody who can help you become a better writer, give them a red pen and squeeze wisdom out of them.

#3 Don’t forget you have a voice.

You can’t just accept everything. Take advice that makes sense to you and don’t forget you have a voice and a gut that deserve your loyalty. I think when you understand this your writing process, and in general your creation process, will get way more enjoyable.

That’s all I have right now. But I’m still a baby in writing years, so maybe in a few years I’ll comeback with a couple more.

IG: @todoporaleja
Website: alejavidal.com

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